The Brown Derby Tasting

One of our more enjoyable tasks at the HCAR offices is cocktail tasting and testing. Recently, to bring a new life to the exploration we were sent a tattered copy of Patrick Gavin Duffy's The Standard Bartender's Guide by our sponsor and superior, Colonel J.R. Harmon. The drinks within hearken back to days when Galliano flowed the streets like gold, and requesting a Wild Turkey Mist with a Twist, would not yank forth looks of disdain from your bartender.

This week’s tasting was a small affair, and we decided to venture towards an area of drinking that not many of us were familiar with: Rum.

The Brown Derby.


Editor's Note: This drink is not actually in the book I loaned the young folks that staff this blog. I was deep in the midst of a conversation with the charming young Rachel whereupon she mentioned a time in which she drank a Brown Derby. I confirmed with her that it was, indeed, this drink, and it brought me back to another time. This drink was named after the famous Los Angeles location. I spent a few years in that torrid, horrid town doctoring movieplays, consulting with fat producers, and drinking whenever possible in order to rid myself of the awful malaise found everywhere in Hollywood. I was introduced to this drink by a young starlet who decency and history dare me not to name. I have always enjoyed it, and think fondly of her whenever I drink it. Here's to you, my dear, to all our failings and our triumphs. -- Colonel J.R. Harmon, Ret.

Tasting Roster:
The Masked Drinker
Ladyboy
Rachel
Sara
and
Faux-Bee June (your author)

Guests:
The Pet
Fräulein N

It should be noted that there is another cocktail that goes by the name of “The Brown Derby.” This is not that cocktail. This is this cocktail:

Two Ounces Dark Run
One Ounce Lime Juice
One Teaspoon Maple Syrup

As usual, we mixed a small number of cocktails and divvied them up into smaller rocks glasses for the tasting.

For the first time in an HCAR tasting, every single person agreed whole-heartedly that the drink in question was quite enjoyable, and would likely be enjoyed again and again. Among the characteristics that were unanimously agreed on: The smooth finish, and light (not overpowering) rum flavor. Three of (us, myself, the Masked Drinker and Fräulein N) ventured into the tasting with a bit of hesitation about sipping a rum based cocktail. We were all pleasantly surprised that the rum really did not impose itself, nor did it leave the syrupy aftertaste we dreaded, in fact the MD thought the rum added an agreeable “heartiness” .

Rachel noted that the lime and maple syrup complimented each other. Ladyboy agreed that “the maple and lime are alternately dominant.” Sara noted that it was “sweet, but not too sweet.” The Pet and I were equally charmed by the maple syrup aftertaste which was, once again, not too overpowering, and not at all (shockingly) “syrupy.”

We all agreed that the drink was likely to be enjoyed by a wide variety of drinkers, even those not normally given to ordering cocktails. Ladyboy felt that it is not a drink that “requires a particular drinking style or encourages specific associations,” and Sara said that “It’s a cocktail for someone who doesn’t normally order cocktails,” although it was widely accepted that a few would suffice, and the drink might not stand up as the only drink of the night, if one were in it for the long haul.

The tasters mentioned in equal numbers that The Brown Derby could be enjoyed in the summer, on the beach with a funny little umbrella in it, and in the winter, cozied up in front of a nice wood burning fire place with one of those zigzag afghans that your great aunt crotched.

The range of ideas for improvement ran from “my glass would be bigger” (Sara, echoed by the Pet) to the idea of a pork garnish, by the Masked Drinker. (His interest in savory garnishes might not have anything to do with the fact that he recently reported on the Bacon and Bourbon Expo.) I couldn’t come up with a bit more than a sprig of mint for improvement, although Fräulein N’s suggestion of a splash of soda water sounded like it might cut the sweetness just that much more to appease my palate. She also mentioned that she would like to try it with maple sugar instead of maple syrup, which was suggested in the recipe, although the syrup texture pleased her as well. On the maple angle, Rachel admitted that she had previously enjoyed the recipe “kick[ed] up at least 10 notches” with the use of “a special high grade maple syrup that was aged in bourbon barrels” which (while the HCAR offices don’t currently stock it) just might make the shopping list.

Ladyboy was interested in seeing if it would work as a warm cocktail, but we dissolved into round two before testing the hypothesis.

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Derby Fizz Tasting

One of our more enjoyable tasks at the HCAR offices is cocktail tasting and testing. In the past this research has ranged from our house bartender’s own maple syrup spiked infusions, to rounds of Purple Titty Twisters, a demand often made while perusing the “shots” section of a fairly updated Mr. Boston’s Bartender’s Guide.

To bring a new life to the exploration, however, we were sent a tattered copy of Patrick Gavin Duffy's The Standard Bartender's Guide by our sponsor and superior, Colonel J.R. Harmon. The drinks within hearken back to days when Galliano flowed the streets like gold, and requesting a Wild Turkey Mist with a Twist, would not yank forth looks of disdain from your bartender. This is the inaugural article in a feature series recording our pursuits.

This week I had the pleasure of serving as bartender as we encountered the cocktails that contain, not just the egg white, but the whole egg.

RECIPE

1 1/2 ounces scotch whiskey
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 teaspoon sugar
1 whole egg
3 dashes curaçao or grenadine
3 or 4 ice cubes
Club soda

Tasting Roster:
The Masked Drinker
Ladyboy
and
Faux-Bee June (your author)

Guests:
Double B
Angel Tit
The Beej
Juicy
Mega

Two drinks were mixed, but they were served in 8 2oz. rock glasses so that each taster could have their own experience. In the interest of transparency, it should be noted that the soda water was splashed over the top of each rocks glass.

As sumptuous as the actual drink looked, (cream colored and foamy, described by Mega as a “latte foam with a scotch flavor”) it indeed fell flat, as a number of tasters had suggested it might. In a word, repeated over and over, it was bland. A number of us felt that we would only drink this in a decade preceding the Second World War, or, more often, to be polite (although Mega, again, committed that she would drink it if it fell on someone else’s tab).

The Masked Drinker, who was most taken by the drink according to response from the group, said that it showed hints of vanilla and was “airy, almost marshmallowian [which is, of course, not a real word].” He did, however, mention that he was most likely to drink it while trying to impress someone, and that it would likely be improved by more whiskey, which reverberated well through the crowd, as no one felt like there was enough alcohol to classify it as an actual cocktail. (The Original Juicy thought that it would be best situated on the non-alcoholic section of a fancy cocktail menu).

The general blandness of the drink left everyone suggesting that it be more flavored, but agreement was scattered. While the MD and Juicy argued for more alcohol, Ladyboy thought something could be done to enhance the already existing vanilla taste by adding the similar and cutting down on the lemon. The Beej agreed that there should be “something with a little more zest”, while Double B and I suggested more sugar or cointreau. (Angel Tit had to admit that she disliked the drink so much, that she didn’t know where to begin improving it, but that under certain desperate situations, she could be tempted to drink anything. Even theDerby Fizz).

For my own part, I felt that the musty taste it brought forth was quite a bit off putting. I, as I mentioned, argued for more cointreau or sugar, which says a lot, because I categorically dislike drinks that have even the mildest hint of simple syrup sweet. As the bartender charged with making this drink as a one-off, one-try deal, I must say that I probably over served the soda water, which was added to each serving individually, and undoubtedly was far too much to allow the more subtle tastes to shine through, should they have had the power.

As a team, we hope that tasting off the beaten path cocktails helps us narrow down our palates, and perhaps, one day, try a cocktail that actually tastes good. In the meantime, this exercise offers a wonderful training experience for the HCAR office bartenders, and, as a good drinking experience should, a friendly atmosphere and lively discussion.

A toast to you all.

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Ladyboy's Style Profiles: Barleywines

I'd like to congratulate our readers on surviving all winter holidays and New Years festivities, allowing themselves the opportunity to stare yet another hellish winter right in its cold black heart. By now seasonal effective disorder and cold-weather cardiovascular disease have undoubtedly clouded your thoughts and ravaged your already questionable health.

Friends, these are lousy times and the majority of you will surely continue to suffer. If, however, there are any among you who will dismiss all preconceptions of fermented malt beverages and invite astronomical original gravities and blasphemous levels of international bitterness units into your hearts, I can offer you a little sustenance in these dark times and some recourse against the cold.


The gift I share is no miracle of these modern times, like the vibrating USB bathrobe or the furby. This gift was contrived in antiquity, either by dwarves or gnomes, a drink that will lift the spirits of you and your brethren and revitalize you until you are supremely drunk. Know that I offer you no simple magic when I offer you Barleywine.

I will now reveal the nature of this beverage by way of a tea analogy for those of you not familiar with historical brewing processes.

Consider a blend of fine teas is steeped to perfection at the bidding of an individual rich and powerful beyond comprehension. The result is a beverage as fulfilling and as finely nuanced as the raw ingredients are capable of producing. After this tea has been whisked away for the masters consumption, the tea leaves are steeped once again and this weakened, inferior tea is served to the delight of ordinary hardscrabble people.

This heirarchal production system describes the medieval Parti-Gyle brewing style, where the brewer mashes and re-mashes the same grain, and the runnings from the two mashes are collected in separate vessels and fermented to form two very distinct beers. A strong beer or Barleywine is typically produced from the runnings of the first mash, while the second runnings produce a relatively easy drinking and unremarkable ordinary bitter or small beer.

It is not my intention to degrade the or persecute these ordinary beers. In a pinch it is better to drink weak but otherwise pleasant tea than scuzzy, brackish water tainted by sewage. All I am saying is that it is January and any drink could be your last. Consider this friends. Prepare for each day as you'd prepare for the birth of your first child or minutes before inpatient surgery. Drink the strongest and the most complex. Drink the finest and drink lots of it.
Whether you know it or not, you deserve the libation of the so-called better man.

When that first sip of Barleywine passes your lips you will know that if ever you were going to drink tea, instead of just expressing huffy opinions about how lame tea drinking is, this is exactly the kind of tea you would be drinking.

Hopefully by now your curiosity is sufficient to send you running from your desks to pursue beers malty and true. Because I have drunk Barelywine and it has given me wisdom, I also understand that a few of you probably have some questions that you want answered before you risk your life in the cold. Principally, how does Barleywine taste?

Barleywines will typically be described as adhering to one of two stylistic profiles, English and American. If you are familiar with the differences between other types of English and American ale styles, you will recongnize a familar set of distinctions between the two. For those of you who aren't quite sure how to make this distinguishment, a comparison of the two countries native Barelwines will emphasize their inherntly different takes on the principles of ale construction.

English Barleywines often feature a complex layering of balanced and intricate malt flavors. These ales are incredibly robust and sophisticated, with hop use generally more focused on acieving balance than dominance. The sweetness of the malt is very often complimented by toasty and nutty charachter, along with a distinct fruity prescence, which reflects the yeast strain and fermentation conditions. English versions tend to be darker in appearance than their American counteparts, ranging from amber to dark brown, although the color of both styles reflect the enourmous quantities of malt used.

American Barelywines move the balance away from the malt end of the spectrum. These ales are a showcase of native hop flavors and noticable citrus-like aromas. Amarillo and Cascade are among the extremely popular American hop varieties that lend their character to these beers. Malt plays a supporting role in these ales, providing deep and complex carmelly, bready malt flavors.

Both styles may give the impression of being intoxicatingly strong, though hot, solvently alchohol aramos or flavors are considered flaws. Both styles will way in at between 8-12% ABV.

By now you are surely entranced, willing to voyage to the ends of the earth if necessary, all for the oppurtunity to raise this truly benevolent nectar to your lips. Fortunately, recent diversification of our national beer palate has begun to affect greater distribution radiuses and wider availability of Barleywines and other strong and aged beers, such a voyage will be not be necessary.

Many of you will prefer to sift through this ale's layered sophistication garbed your favorite smoking jacket, in the company of your most excellent foxhound, the two of you reclining before of a crackling hearth under the watchful eye of a taxidermy cheetah. To you I recommend taking advantage of local retailers, who are likely have a few bottles of the good stuff carefully tucked away behind six packs of those ever-so-precious Pabst Brewing products this time of year. Barelywines may be particularly sought at well-stocked specialty beer stores, supermarkets that sell single 22 oz bottles of craft beers, and at bodegas recently restyled as gourmet-type shops.

Be sure to examine prospective bottles carefully, not all Barelywines will be overtly labeled. If you want to get the booty you've got to read the treasure map.

If you'd rather explore your snifter or wine glass (traditional Bareleywine serving vessels) while ruminating about good times with old pals, a fair percentage of beer bars and brewpubs offer Barleywines and strong ales, either on draft or bottled. As in the retail sphere, a little detective work may be required; suspect taps may be labeled as Old Ales, Old Strong Ales, Old Stock Ales, or Vintage Ales. Relative to most other available beers, Barleywines are OLD! Their names almost always indicate this, they're helping you find them.

I have to emphasize that for the rare and adventurous beer drinker, consultations with bartenders and establishment proprietor are extremely worthwhile.If you are willing to ask someone who knows more about their beer selection you will drink better beer, always.

If you've made it to the end of this article you are probably considerably weaker and prone to collapse than before you began. Get out there and drink that Barleywine, nothing else can help you now. Read more...